Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
kristin has been a bad kristin
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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