Non-Jews are for practice
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
