Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
