PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
