i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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