thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
