i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
