I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
