I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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