I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
