Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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