Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't motorboat a personality
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
