I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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