My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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