HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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