i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
