that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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