My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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