so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
