Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
