Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
