My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
