just tell him i said nine months
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
