In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
