making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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