i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
