Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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