you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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