I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
