You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
