Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
