I hate all girls vehemently.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
