just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
