But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
