Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
