Can i not drive my cunt home
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize