I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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