so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
