Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
