guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
