i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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