It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
