I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
