how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
