Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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