My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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