its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
