I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
