How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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