VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
