If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
