Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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