It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
