it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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