We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
