Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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