You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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