i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
