So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
