no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
