Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
