We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
