I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
