I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
