when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
