he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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