he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
