I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
