Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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