his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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