You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
