I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
