Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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